The world I live in, it's quite like an orderly chaos. It unravels in a pattern each day, and I go through a journey each day while I am pieced back together. Let me try and explain it to you. I can be perfectly divided into 2 things:
Music and language.
Music notes, they transcend time.
My words, they bleed out my heart.
Both whisper to me ancient chasms of the earth, unknown and mystical; relevant and yet so foreign.
Systematically, throughout my day, my world falls apart. Loud, unwanted noise, the laments of a not-so-terrible life and the self pity of having a part time job weigh down like disgusting weights upon the mind. I am sickened of the world I live in, focusing on the fragment of the dirt, air and water I foolishly call my world. Then, slowly, it is pieced back together. Listening to music, the beats, the rhythms, connecting with it as it connects me to my world. It connects me to the cold winter wind and even the look in his eyes. It connects me to the minute task I occupy myself with, and sometimes it even connects me to the nothingness I so often find myself lost in. And more often than not, something out of nowhere clicks. Life..isn't half bad. This is maybe half the journey to re-piecing myself.
My second half happens here; right here on this keyboard. Music is pouring into my eardrums at this very moment, and it is pouring out in the words I type. To attempt and explain the chasms of the earth is enough for now. Perhaps one day I will be able to type coherence strings of thoughts, sharing the secrets Gaea tells me, as a friend a mother a sister. She giggles, whispers, caressing my heart and mind with her words. Sometimes she weeps and when that happens, I unravel even more, until my two halves piece me back together again.
I am never destroyed, but simply lost amidst this tiny fragment of the universe. My two halves ground me and at the same time, I ascend from the ashes of my world to be re-born, each day anew. You see, I want to very much share the secrets she tells me. She laughs each time, because I am not bound by any vow not to speak of this, but my very two pillars of life fail me. They fail to convey what I cannot keep inside of me. But it is not such a bad feeling, to be honest. I rather enjoy hearing ancient wisdom, coming up from the earth, filling me inside. I smile, a secretive smile, because I know, I know things that one day we will both come to know, but for now, only I know. I smile, that Mona Lisa smile.
